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UNAUTHORIZED DEPARTURE
by Maureen O'Brien
St. Martin's, September 2003
288 pages
$23.95
ISBN: 0312316003


Buy in the UK | Buy in Canada

My mother always told me that if I couldn't say something nice about someone then I shouldn't say anything at all. Which presents me with a significant problem when it comes to reviewing Maureen O'Brien's UNAUTHORIZED DEPARTURE.

I could praise the rather elegant front cover, or mention that most of the book is set in France, a country I'm rather fond of. Instead, though, I'm tempted to cut to the chase and finish the review here by telling you the book sucks like a Dyson vacuum cleaner, that if you want to read how police procedurals should be done, you should spend your money on the new Ian Rankin, and that O'Brien should stick to her acting day job.

But cheap shots from the reviewer aren't a lot of help to the reader. So here, in a nutshell, is why the words 'bargepole' and 'do not touch with' spring to mind.

Dialogue: O'Brien has the tinnest of tin ears. I've never heard anyone speak like her characters do. It sounds like one of those old British B movies from the 1950s where a terribly posh actress is trying to pass herself off as a common Cockney piece: "Gor, blimey, guv, you're a diamond geezer and no mistake." I rather like dialogue-driven books -- always assuming the author can write snappy and believable dialogue, that is. O'Brien will leave you feeling woozy and disorientated as the point of view swings around all over the shop -- even within the same paragraph. Oh, and after the 558th time of having her leading man saying 'a-ha' in response to every question, I was in danger of throwing the book hard and far against an unsuspecting wall.

Plot: A lot of crime fiction relies on suspending a certain amount of disbelief. Here, you'd have to have your brain surgically removed to buy a lot of the goings-on -- including the main character's wish to keep the threats against him quiet. And there are some very weird people wandering in and out of the action with very little introduction or justification. I can stand on Paddington railway station in rush hour if I want that, thanks.

Characters: You mistake me for someone who gives a damn. To call boring Inspector John Bright and his dreary girlfriend Jude unconvincing is like saying William Shakespeare penned an OK play or two. And there I was hoping the French police would do us all a favour and lock the pair up for crimes against good fiction.

Reviewed by Sharon Wheeler, October 2003

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Contact: Yvonne Klein (ymk@reviewingtheevidence.com)


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