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Carolyn Haines needs no introduction. Her "Bones" series featuring Southern sleuth Sarah Booth Delaney and the irrepressible nanny/ghost Jitty has delighted an ever-growing audience of mystery fans since its inception in 1999. What few readers know, though, is that THEM BONES is not Ms. Haines' first published mystery. That honor goes to SHOP TALK, a screwball comedy of mischief and misadventure penned under the pseudonym Lizzie Hart and published by Ms. Haines' own company, KaliOka Press. Released in 1998, SHOP TALK is the story of six eccentric females who have little in common with each other except for a burning desire to pen a bestseller. Known as Women of Mississippi Books, or WOMB for short, the six wannabe writers meet once a week for critique sessions in the shadowed environs of Bo's Electonics, a TV repair shop owned by WOMB member Lucille Hare's long-suffering older brother. Lucille has lofty ambitions as the author of a Western romance starring Slade, a poetry-spouting cowboy who herds his cows across several states while trying to win the hand of his lady love, Clara. Slade's poetry is pretty poor, as is the rest of his creator's writing, but Bo and his movie-loving wife Iris grudgingly support Lucille's efforts when she joins WOMB. The two are not so supportive of the other women in the group, though. Mona d'la Quirt is penning an S&M novel called "Leather and Chains", but seems more taken with research on the subject than with writing. Andromeda Ripley is obsessed with aliens, and sometimes looks like one as she speeds through town on her motorcycle dressed in a black helmet and matching leather ensemble. Jazz Dixon is a no-nonsense librarian with a beehive hairdo and a penchant for Scottish historicals, while Coco Frappe's efforts center around the production of a cheesecake cookbook entitled "De-Lush-Ous". Last but not least, Dallas Dior is into romance, although she's finding little of that at the moment with her high tech husband, the famous scientist Dr. Robert Beaudreaux. Having relegated him to a makeshift bedroom in the garage, Dallas is currently punishing Robert by maxing out their credit cards on clothes and perfume. The mission of WOMB seems clear enough, but the group turns to other pursuits besides writing when two strangers come to town. Marvin Lovelace is an ex-CIA agent with long yellow teeth, a rotten disposition, and an inordinate interest in the Hare family history. Driskell LaMont is the opposite of Lovelace in age and attitude, but he looks like Dracula himself with his long black cape and cranberry stained red lips. Having answered an ad recruiting secret agents for the government, Driskell is now working nights in Bo's shop and, like Lovelace, keeping a watchful eye on the Hares. Both men come to the attention of the WOMB members when Dr. Beaudreaux is mysteriously kidnapped, a bomb is placed in Lucille's apartment, and the Hare's long-lost evil Uncle Peter unexpectedly shows up on Bo's doorstep. What follows reads like a Mad Hatter's list of zany and unpredictable happenings, each adventure funnier than the last and drawing the ladies of WOMB deeper and deeper into a web of unimaginable skullduggery. For a downright comical mystery, SHOP TALK wins hands down over all competitors. Lucille's naivetÈ and unpretentious nature make her an appealing character, and her relationship with the oddly lovable Driskell is a plus from the start. Backing up these main protagonists, Bo and Iris are a riot as they waltz down romance lane to the beat of sound bites from old movies. The other ladies of WOMB are just as memorable in their own peculiar ways. The plot is as crazy as they come, but it hangs together in the capable hands of the author. It's obvious that "Lizzie Hart" enjoyed writing this book. Not only did she target her family and friends for a little down-home ribbing -- she dedicated the book to her brother and sister-in-law and fellow members of the Deep South Writers Salon -- but she also poked fun at herself in the process. "I'd like to thank Carolyn Haines, who has supported me in my quest to get this book published. I couldn't have done it without her." I'd like to thank Carolyn Haines also. Lucille Hare and her cohorts in crime tickled my funnybone and left me chuckling long after I finished SHOP TALK. Like red cherry wine, it left an aftertaste that was sweet indeed.
Reviewed by Mary V. Welk, March 2002
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Contact: Yvonne Klein (ymk@reviewingtheevidence.com)
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